Every year, nearly each and every one of us undertakes to better ourselves by way of the age-old tradition of “New Year’s Resolutions.” Some of us want to drop a few pounds, others want to do a better job of saving money, while others would like to kick their chosen vice to the curb once and for all. For those going through the oft-difficult process of divorce, finding any small thing to focus on for a strong start to one’s New Year is of as much, if not more, importance than someone else deciding to finally get into shape or to put away the cigarettes for good. Like the completion of a year, the finalization of something as unfortunate as a divorce can serve as an optimal time for one to embark upon new beginnings.
One thing that may prove helpful for those who have recently separated, or even already completed the process of divorce, is to resolve to maintain a civilized relationship with who has likely been referred to as the “opposing party”. This particular resolution is of utmost importance when you have children together. Even though you have divorced each other, you will always be parents together, regardless of whether you are bound by the bonds of matrimony. Maintaining courteous, polite communication with your former partner will not only be of benefit to your children, but in the long run, also to you.
Another resolution you may want to consider is forming yourself in your own image – visualize and then create the person that you truly want to be. Sometimes, when we fall in love, we find ourselves conforming to the desires of the person that we hope will spend the rest of our lives with us. Along the way, we sometimes lose our individuality and maybe even our independence. However, if the marital relationship reaches its end, it’s important to pick oneself up, dust off, and begin on a journey anew to finding out who it is that you truly want to be. While it may be difficult to see yourself in the next chapter, it is likely to be a great adventure.
At the end of the day, remember what John, Paul, George and Ringo had to say about life – that it goes on. Take the opportunity to use the fast-approaching 2014 to become a new you – turn what you may see as the negative changes in your life into positives, the relationships you have with those around you (especially your children) stronger, and create a life that fulfills and delights you.
Written By: Sodoma Law Attorney Jennifer E. Paternostro