When a person is considering a divorce, it is never an idea that happens overnight. It is not so long ago. And for many, it may be the toughest decision a person could ever make. But once you’ve made this decision, then what? You look around at the home that you and your spouse created together, and with different eyes, you realize that this house is no longer the same home. Things are no longer “normal” between the two of you. Now questions begin to run rapidly through your mind and you start asking yourself, “what do I do first?” “Where will I live?” “What am I entitled to?” “What about my finances?” “Who do I talk to?” Divorce can be a challenging step to take in life but consider these few pointers to protect yourself and your interests, as you step toward your new normal.
Finances: Take an inventory of all of your finances, from separate and joint accounts. Make an accounting of bank accounts, investment / financial accounts, retirement accounts, etc. You will need this information to get an idea of the status of your financial portfolio. It is okay if you do not have immediate access to this information or if you just don’t know. Your attorney can explain to you the different methods used to retrieve this information.
Real and Personal Property: Take an inventory of all the personal property you both own and specify if the property was acquired before or after your marriage date. This is important to determine what property is marital and what property is separate. If there is a special family heirloom, a personal collection, or a gift that has special meaning to you, do not discredit it. Make a point to ensure this item is protected from being destroyed or taken. Regarding real property, try to get copies of all of your real property information (i.e. closing documents, appraisals, major repair work and remodels, refinance documents, tax documents, etc.). Again, if you do not have immediate access, or any access to this information, don’t panic. Your attorney may be able to help you piece together as much of the information and documentation as possible.
Retirement / Investments / Stocks: We all understand that retirement and investments can be overwhelming and confusing sometimes. How much do either you or your spouse have? Is it vested? What are the penalties for early withdrawal? What if I vested in my pension before we were married? All these questions are valid concerns, so don’t feel uncomfortable to discuss these issues with your lawyer. Try to obtain as much information on these investments as possible which will help your attorney quickly navigate through your financial portfolio. But remember, your attorney is not a financial advisor. Your attorney is your legal advisor who is there to tell you what you are and what you are not entitled to as it relates to equitable distribution and divorce. It is still up to you when deciding how to manage your share of the marital interests once your case is complete.
Debt: keep an accounting of all debt (separate and marital). This would include credit cards, loans, taxes owed, medical bills, etc. Ideally, if these debts were acquired during the marriage, they are considered marital debts, and you both are equally responsible for paying the balances. But just like everything else in law, the devil is in the details. Your attorney can try to determine the nature and purpose of the debt to try to lessen your financial obligation.
So now what? The first thing you should do is simply breathe. Attorneys understand that you are taking a very large step that will change your life path and as legal professionals, we take that very seriously. Although separation and divorce are incredibly emotional, scary, and taxing, it is also something you have thought long and hard about that is best for you and your well-being. You are preparing yourself for your new normal, and you need a lawyer who can help you navigate to that normal. So first, take your deep breath, look around your house you once considered your home… now exhale. When you make your first consultation appointment with a lawyer, write down as many questions as possible to ask at the consult because no question is too trivial to ask when it comes to your peace of mind. Arm yourself with as much accurate legal information as possible, gather your marital information and documentation, and take the next step to your new normal.