Parental Alienation: A Tale of Two Parents
Welcoming a child into the world is often a joyous and unifying moment for a couple. However, disagreements about parenting styles can create challenges. In some cases, when parents separate, those challenges escalate into toxicity that affects not just the parents but also the children caught in the middle.
When one parent intentionally turns the child against the other, it’s known as parental alienation—a behavior that can cause long-term harm to the parent-child relationship and the child’s emotional well-being.
What Is Parental Alienation?
Parental alienation occurs when one parent manipulates a child’s perception of the other parent, intentionally damaging their relationship. Dr. Ken Lewis describes it as a strategy where one parent uses unjustified negativity to turn a child against the other. This behavior may include manipulation, false allegations, and biased persuasion.
Real-Life Example: Ryan v. Ryan
In this case, the court found that one parent:
- Coached children to make false abuse allegations.
- Discouraged communication with counselors, lawyers, and judges.
- Convinced the children they were abused, despite no evidence.
The result? Emotional and psychological harm to the children, including a diagnosis of adjustment disorder.
Common Behaviors of Parental Alienation
Here are signs to look for:
- Referring to the child as “my” child rather than “our” child.
- Denying or restricting visitation without valid reasons.
- Speaking negatively about the other parent to the child.
- Manipulating the child’s perception of the other parent with false claims.
- Encouraging children to take sides or act disrespectfully.
How to Recognize Parental Alienation
Children affected by alienation may:
- Be dismissive, disrespectful, or angry toward the alienated parent.
- Avoid seeing or contacting the alienated parent.
- Have an unusual knowledge of court proceedings or false accusations.
Steps to Address Parental Alienation
If you suspect parental alienation, consider these actions:
- Document Everything: Save text messages, emails, and any relevant communications.
- Gather Evidence: Collect statements from witnesses and reports from mental health professionals.
- Seek Professional Help: Work with therapists familiar with parental alienation.
- Follow Legal Protocols: Consult an attorney and adhere to court-ordered parenting schedules.
